Injury, service, submission and worship

A lot of my mystery kink isn’t so different from your common domination and submission fantasy.  My attraction to guys with disabilities (specifically SCIs), my post-surgical thing, “thank you for taking such good care of me,” and now this wound kissing kink I just discovered, could fall under larger umbrellas of service, submission and worship. Hell, I’m a big fan of “basic” D/s as well — it’s just, I would rather polish a wheelchair than a boot.

In my fantasy, the dominant figure is hurt or disabled in some way, but still completely worthy of my service, of my submission.  How hot would it be to… [gathering courage] to go down on a beautiful man who just had his appendix removed; to touch a body that so many would avoid; to breach that taboo of feeling anything but pity; to hear his whimpers of pleasure and pain, mingling, confusing every nerve in his body, as I gently ghost the tip of a finger along his bandage; to make him feel good in the midst of his pain and fear; to submit when he is completely incapable of enforcing my submission.

How calm to sit at the feet of a man with a broken ankle, caressing the cast, laying a kiss on it while he watches me service him this way; to gently kiss the sensitive toes peeking out, stimulating this injured part of his body that is the focus of so much of his awareness.  To stay with him.  To be with him.

(And another thing – I’m bisexual, so how odd that my most potent fantasies in this realm are all about men.)

For obvious reasons, my fantasy/fetish/kink is pretty impractical: I’m not about to stab a lover or push them down the stairs so I can do this stuff.  It could have role-playing potential, but I’m unsure whether playing such a scene would excite me or push the right buttons.  Also, I can barely talk about this shit here — can you imagine me trying to negotiate such a scene with a person?

About gorgonesque

So I’m gorgonesque.  Hello!  I’m a 25 year old Currently Able Bodied (CAB) female.  At the moment, I seem to have a mystery fetish.

I’m not sure if I could say I’m a devotee, but I do know I’ve very much enjoyed videos and pictures with devo fetish fuel in them; for example, I enjoyed the film Murderball far, far more than I should.  The documentary is about athletes who play Quad Rugby, and opens with the team captain Mark Zupan getting up in the morning and putting on his pants.  He’s super butch, and I liked it!  I also liked all the workout/physio scenes, and when the athletes were talking about the metal screws and stuff in their spines (people with spinal cord injuries sometimes need these).

When I had a FWB situation with a quad(riplegic) recently, I found myself really attracted to the scar on the back of his neck.  He also has a tracheotomy scar right above his collarbone (from having to use a breathing tube after his accident), but he doesn’t like me playing with it because the incident of having the trach in was traumatic. This made me feel quite guilty about liking it so much.  I also think his contractured hands are really cute.  I asked him what he thought about devotees (“just out of curiosity”) and he said if it would help him get laid, he’d be into a devo.

I’m a really political person, and I feel uneasy about the devotee label because devotees are sometimes looked down on in the disability community.  But at the moment I don’t even know if that term is right!

I think I may have something like a medical fetish, but googling medical fetish turns up lots of things that I’m not interested in, like naughty nurses in latex giving people enemas and stuff.  What I have may be more of a hurt/comfort kink; hearing that a cute guy has been sick or injured makes me feel a somewhat stronger attraction.  Years ago, a lover’s attractive roommate had an emergency appendectomy.  I found myself often fantasizing about nursing him, staying by his bed side, stroking his hair, helping with things and such. I wish I could see his scar.

A young but legal celebrity (too embarrassed at the moment to say who) broke his ankle on stage last year. Lately I’ve been looking at pictures of him with his injury and it turns me on. He tweeted pics of himself in a plaster cast and hospital wheelchair right after the injury. He even went back on tour while still wearing a huge cast on his leg and on crutches.  I thought the pictures of him crutching or performing were so hot.

Anyone remember the Star Trek TNG episode called Transfigurations?  It features a really attractive alien called John Doe getting medical care after being found seriously injured (e.g. his severed arm is reattached) and has scenes with him doing physio stuff.  I was turned on by it.

It certainly doesn't hurt that the John Doe alien is played by Mark La Mura

It’s weird – I enjoy the idea of attractive guys in medical pain, but the attraction comes from the healing part of it.  What these last few examples have in common is guys who are injured, in pain, limping, and getting better.  Images of someone who’s just injured, as seems to be common in medical fetish fandom, don’t do it for me and turn me off a bit.

I can’t help but wonder if anyone out there has a similar kink.  I don’t really know how to satisfy it, or how it would play out in a scene; I don’t even know if I would get off on a role-play situation.  I don’t even know what terms to google to explore this!  I plan to use this space to write about, and explore my fetish/kink/whatever it is.